STOP BLAMING George Bush. "He lied to us." "He tricked us." Suddenly everyone — Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, all of my friends — is claiming to have been a dove who was bamboozled by the cleverness of our president. When "American Idol" drops to a 30% approval rating, I predict you all also will claim that Paula Abdul outsmarted you into watching two hours of karaoke each week.
Most Americans can't locate Britain on a map, but I'm supposed to believe that back in January of 2003, everyone became an honorary member of the Council on Foreign Relations and followed the details of reports of yellowcake from Niger? I don't think so. Even now, I'm pretty sure that if the Cheesecake Factory put "Yellowcake from Niger" on the menu, people would order it.
If Joel weren't already married, I might want to have 10,000 of his babies. I even got excited at the news that he was supposed to be co-teaching a workshop called "How to Give a Blowjob." But sadly, the stuffed shirts at the Times decreed that was not to be.
In all seriousness, this column got me thinking about whether I really ever want to support any presidential candidate — even someone who "apologized" — who voted to authorize the Iraq invasion. Any excusemaking in that regard is a big, steaming pile of bullshit — but an especially deadly, immoral, and repugnant pile.