Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Going Straight to Hell, Carrying Lifetimes of Bad Karma

I know, I know, I shouldn't be griping to you, or to anyone, but I need to share.

So, I'm signed up on one of those HIV-positive dating sites, and every now and again there's someone within a 60-mile radius of this fabulous resort burg in which I live.


Can I really see myself going on a date someone with a hairdo like the above, with mutton-choppish sideburns, and who spells a very common (and perfectly fine) name unconventionally (i.e., with superfluous, silent letters)? The answer is no.

Then again, he lists his fave TV as BBC and music as B-52s (and country?), so some of you might want to consider relocating and setting up a happy home in Ventura.

And yes, for wantonly slinging this kind of snark I most definitely DO deserve to be single for the rest of my life.

God is not smiling.

On second thought, I think He is ROFL. (Yes, at me, not with me.)


Dave said...

On the plus side, maybe that hair picture is actually 25 years old and he has since updated to a more sensible fauxhawk or something.

Huntington said...

I'd think it was me, but I don't live down there anymore, and I gave up cute spelling when I turned 20.

Joe said...

Dhayvve: Basically, my salutation to you gives you an idea of what I'm dealing with. Fauxhawks occasionally look cute on a 24-year old, but Flock-of-Seagulls hair is inappropriate anywhere but in an archive.

Bylle: What kind of cute spelling affectation did you embrace? Nothing meatier to add to the hairdo litmus test debate?

Huntington said...

I'd be disloyal to certain perfectly nice exes of mine if I said anything mean about anachronistic or fake-looking hair, so no.

I had a regrettable affectation for Britishisms in my high-school daze, that's all.

The Angry Young Man said...

Christ, look at you! Plotting out this human's flaws before you've even met him just to protect your own stupid looking feelings. Let go and let God, I say. Go out on a date with this Ventura creature already. What do you have to lose? At the very least you're bound to get laid.

Joe said...

You say "get laid" like it's a reward or suttum. Not hardly.

And that's not a problem anyway.

Sometimes it just "feels" wrong... and when it "feels" right (or they *look* right), they want nothing to do with me. What does Dr. Joyce Brothers (or Abigail van Buren) say about always going after people who are emotionally unavailable to you?

Papagayo said...

my pov: it's just a date. pretty low stakes, one beer, one coffee, one dinner... could be over in 20. maybe there's lots that can mask some bad hair... i myself could use a haircut and i'm a real winner

LadrĂ³n de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Oh, I think I've had that hairdo as well, albeit without the mutton chops. Wait, isn't ROFL unconventional spelling? However, I've never done anything in Ventura County besides refuel the car, and there's never been anything that made me want to linger.

Stash said...


there are HIV+ dating sites?

i really HAVE been hiding underneath a rock or something.

oh and hai. thanks for stopping by. :)

that'll teach me to go on a blog vacation. half of my blogroll disappeared in 3 months but you're still around.

Salty Miss Jill said...

So? Did you go out with him or not? Maybe he has a big pecker. Then you could just throw a towel over that hairdo and tell him to keep his mouth shut.
By the way, I used to spell my name as 'Jyll', but that was 1985 and I was in the 8th grade.
And if you can't gripe in your blog, then where the hell can you gripe? Bring it on, sister!

Salty Miss Jyll