Sunday, September 21, 2008

“I give you leave to throw me headforemost into the sea.”









“This ridiculous foible is perhaps one of our most fatal characteristics; for is there anything more absurd than to wish to carry continually a burden which one can always throw down? to detest existence and yet to cling to one's existence? in brief, to caress the serpent which devours us, till he has eaten our very heart?”

3 comments:

Huntington said...

I miss Ginger-Rhubarb Loaf Monday.

Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

I hope you weren't listening to Billie Holiday singing "Gloomy Sunday" when you wrote this. Maybe the week will be more cheerful.

BigAssBelle said...

for is there anything more absurd than to wish to carry continually a burden which one can always throw down? to detest existence and yet to cling to one's existence? in brief, to caress the serpent which devours us, till he has eaten our very heart?”

when I was 16, my sister wanted me to go with her to get a cat. we went to this farm outside of town, tried to capture one of these completely wild barn cats to take home.

i finally got one of the kittens, only it went absolutely wild once I actually got it in my hands.

i couldn't get it off of me. i let go of it and it continued to claw and bite me up one side and down the other. i. could. not. get. rid. of. it.

several minutes passed before i finally shook it off my arm, hunks of flesh going with it, leaving me standing in the barn dripping in blood.

all of that to say that i am unconvinced that we can all simply throw down our burdens and be different.

i have been trying since last summer to throw down the burden of misery that has afflicted me due to the state of our nation and i just can't do it. the give-up function within me seems to have ceased working. misery is on me like that sharp-clawed cat.