Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Why I Never Wallow in Self Pity

The following is the text of a Craigslist ad I posted when I was in a particularly upbeat mood a few weeks ago:

Disease-Ridden seeking anyone who doesn't mind
After reading all these ads day after day where guys make it crassly clear that they want only someone DISEASE FREE (that's the same as saying "hiv-neg," right?)... I thought I'd try something new: If anyone is interested in meeting a nice, smart, funny, goodlooking, sometimes sexy, DISEASED (yet healthy) guy, let me know and we could meet for coffee and a chat or something. I may not be "DISEASE FREE," but I might be a DISEASED guy worth meeting... and maybe even (what?!) casually fucking around with.
Location: Quarantine

One final thing: I'm one hell of a first date. Can't you tell?

6 comments:

Stash said...

And what happened? Don't leave us in suspense!

Huntington said...

Actually, I imagine you're a pretty fun first date. If you're like me in this, it's at about the fifth date where things start getting hairy.

And don't you dare ask "what fifth date?"

kusala ~ joe said...

"What fifth date?" Don't worry, that's geared more toward myself than toward you. Actually, "What second date?" for that matter. Oy.

Seriously, do ya'll know how long it's been since I've gone on a typical "date" of the cocktail-dinner-movie variety (as opposed to the "I'll be at your place in ten minutes. Be ready." variety)? I have no one to blame but myself, I suppose. Oh, what the hell, I'll blame Santa Barbara anyway.

Stash: There's no suspense! No "what" happened! I got maybe two responses and never followed through (so unlike me) after a perfunctory reply to maybe one of them. "Disease-Ridden" really isn't a hallmark of an effective marketing campaign.

Salty Miss Jill said...

You keep it real, darlin'. ;)

Ladron de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Oh, I usually open with "fat, femme, possessive, alcoholic, debt-ridden, unemployed troll seeks gym-toned god". Perhaps neurotic counts as disease ridden. Wow, I've never seen a Craigslist without measurements and "your nude photo gets mine". You may have made a mistake assuming people who read complete sentences visit that site.

m00nchild said...

But, um, are you "clean" and "bug-free" tho? I take a shower and comb my nits daily personally.

I'm surprised your post wasn't flagged and removed immediately. That's happened to me on a number of occasions. I've contact Craigslist staff about revamping their flagging system to allow recommendations to balance out nasty flag trolls. But, I was just laughed at and told to go away.